Take My Cardboard Out To The Ballgame

Lisa is organizing some weird things during the Covid-19 pandemic. And what are the silver linings of Covid-19 if any? Pat has a strange neurosis that has to do with socks… and a weird thing about his pillow. Pat and his wife Patty are cardboard cutouts at the Mariners baseball games.



Songs in this episode:

  • “Crazy Blues” Mamie Smith (1920)
  • “Together Again” Buck Owens
  • “Slip, Slidin’ Away” Paul Simon
  • “Look at Yourself (in the Mirror)” Will Downing
  • “Both Sides Now” Joni Mitchell
  • “Paint it Black” The Rolling Stones
  • “Drive-in Movies” Ray LaMontagne
  • Excerpt from movie “Hell’s Angels on Wheels” (1967)
  • Excerpt from movie “Boogeyman”
  • “Hang on Sloopy” The McCoys (1966)
  • “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” The Animals (1965)
  • “The Civil War” soundtrack
  • “Wet Socks” Sophie Meiers
  • “You Speak My Language” Morphine
  • Excerpt from “My Pillow” commercial
  • “Der Fuehrer’s Face” Spike Jones
  • “Don’t Get Around Much” Jonathan and Darlene Edwards
  • “Out of My Way” Seether
  • “Lisa, Listen to Me” Blood, Sweat and Tears
  • “I Got You, I Feel Good” James Brown
  • “Quitting Time” Dave Dudley

Danger Is My Middle Name

Does your dog have a middle name? Pat wants to change his kids names. Pat thinks la-dee-da weddings are just for girls, and thinks they’d be more fun if there was more chaos involved. And, Pat feels “watched” whenever he goes into a Best Buy store. Also, Lisa finds out she is undertipping all over the place.





Bad Laptop Daddy

Pat thinks Lisa needs a butler. Or a houseboy. Lisa explains why her boobs will never be touched again. Pat has a tragedy with his laptop at the airport you won’t believe.  And is being a well-endowed male a bonus or a curse?



Songs in this episode: 

“La La La La La La” Jackie Gleason sketch music
“Traveling Man” Ricky Nelson
“I Started a Joke” Bee Gees
“People Got to be Free” The Rascals
“Tragedy” Bee Gees
“The End of the World” Skeeter Davis
“Susan” Dean Martin
“Crying” Roy Orbison
“Good Enough” Jussie Smolett (from TV show “Empire”)
“We’re in the Money” from ‘Gold Diggers of 1933)
“A Whale of a Tale” Kirk Douglas from Disney’s “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”
“It’s a Miracle” Barry Manilow
“Don’t Sleep on the Subway” Petula Clark
“Another Brick in the Wall” Pink Floyd
Excerpt from “Mr. Peabody and Sherman”
Excerpt from “Rick Steves’ Europe”
Excerpt from “If I Were King of the Forest” (Wizard of Oz) Bert Lahr
“The Impossible Dream” Kate Smith

Drink The Coffee, Not the Kool Aid

Find out what resolution Pat is sticking with this year, and where Lisa is going to start drinking her coffee. And, is it illegal to make obscene gestures to a police officer?  The answer may surprise you!

Drink my coffee!

Drink my coffee!

Songs in this episode:

  • “Old Cape Cod” / Patti Page
  • “What’s My Name?” / Snoop Doggy Dog
  • “Dreamy Eyes” (1956) / The Four Preps
  • “Black Coffee” / Ella Fitzgerald
  • “Words” / Bee Gees
  • “That’s All Folks” / Warner Bros.

Zoom! Straight To The Moon Alice

Pat misses the moon landing, Lisa shames Daisy, and no one heard what Condoleezza Rice said at the Republican Convention.

Seriously? Right in my good eye!

The 2012 Bummer Olympics

Pat and Lisa talk about how to spice up the most boring Summer Olympic events, the new TSA guidelines for your service animals, and give a big thump on the head to the Boys Scouts of America.